so...
So I was thinking about relationships recently, and not just about my relationship, but about them in general. They are a funny thing:
You often hear the phrase opposites attract which I guess is true you often find really nice girls going out with total jerk faces, and the idea holds up, I'm sure we all know people that really should not go out with each other but do even though they have nothing in common and eventually fight all the time. And that’s great for them. But as a guy I have to believe that this opposite attracting thing only seems to work one way. Take for example… me, I would like to think I’m an ok guy, above average in more then 50% of my qualities but whatever, when I was single I was a conservative, nerdy, nice guy, and so according to the opposites attract rule I should have been making out all the time with the most popular girls in school but if you ask my friends that didn’t, doesn’t and never will happen. It just is not fair. Which make me think that if it is not fair, and doesn’t work out that way then where did the phrase come from?
Well I was thinking about it and it could only come from one place. A guy didn’t make it up because he was either not benefiting form like me, getting nothing from being nice, or he was getting a lot of action with a nice girl, lets face it a jack ass with a nice girl is not going to sit around a ponder why he is so lucky. So the only other source would have to be a… what was that other option… oh yes, a girl. and it makes perfect sense, think about it, a nice girl is going out with this ass and she knows It, but is still attracted to him because she is a girl and girls are much more superficial then guys, its true, so instead of just admitting that she is attracted to this bad boy image and that is what she likes she simply concludes, while cleverly using a pun from magnetic principles, that opposites attract. This both satisfies her by giving an excuse and gives an impressive logical deduction that only the smartest physicist could decipher through.
At least this is how I felt, oddly enough it is true. Most relationships are built on opposites. Let’s face it my Sarah and I have a lot of things in common and superficially you would assume that we are very similar, we are. But I find that in most good long relationships there exists a sort of yin and yang balance. So it goes that this thing that you once liked because you could share the same thoughts and feelings on issues suddenly becomes this thing that as you explore more you realize that you have less and less in common with. And not just things like I like ketchup and you like mustard but deep philosophic differences and a complete difference in how you view this world we live in. but, it doesn’t matter, well some things would matter, but all in all as time goes on and you get past that honeymoon period where everything is sunshine and rainbows it becomes less about a red and blue line traveling in time together and becomes more of a, well lets just say green harmonious line that is neither red, blue, or a simple combination of the two but an entirely new creation.
Let’s face it; most good relationships have this constant struggle and constant compromise. There is usually and extrovert and an introvert. Sadly I always thought that I would be the introvert in my relationship because if you knew me would think that I am, but I actually found someone that make me be the extrovert and I’m ok with it but, although there are some off examples two introverts or two extroverts just doesn’t work in my mind. There are tons of examples of this idea from from the fact that girls usually think with their hearts and guys are usually more analytical and think with their head. The guy waits for the girl to get dressed when he will never understand how it can take 10 minutes to put on jeans and a t-shirt, and the girl waits until the end of football game not because she understands how it is important but because it is just what happens when two people accept that there will be differences, they wont understand them, and that these differences somehow bring them closer. Two different perspectives not understand the other is always better then one blind perspective
The world is infinite and all accessible
You often hear the phrase opposites attract which I guess is true you often find really nice girls going out with total jerk faces, and the idea holds up, I'm sure we all know people that really should not go out with each other but do even though they have nothing in common and eventually fight all the time. And that’s great for them. But as a guy I have to believe that this opposite attracting thing only seems to work one way. Take for example… me, I would like to think I’m an ok guy, above average in more then 50% of my qualities but whatever, when I was single I was a conservative, nerdy, nice guy, and so according to the opposites attract rule I should have been making out all the time with the most popular girls in school but if you ask my friends that didn’t, doesn’t and never will happen. It just is not fair. Which make me think that if it is not fair, and doesn’t work out that way then where did the phrase come from?
Well I was thinking about it and it could only come from one place. A guy didn’t make it up because he was either not benefiting form like me, getting nothing from being nice, or he was getting a lot of action with a nice girl, lets face it a jack ass with a nice girl is not going to sit around a ponder why he is so lucky. So the only other source would have to be a… what was that other option… oh yes, a girl. and it makes perfect sense, think about it, a nice girl is going out with this ass and she knows It, but is still attracted to him because she is a girl and girls are much more superficial then guys, its true, so instead of just admitting that she is attracted to this bad boy image and that is what she likes she simply concludes, while cleverly using a pun from magnetic principles, that opposites attract. This both satisfies her by giving an excuse and gives an impressive logical deduction that only the smartest physicist could decipher through.
At least this is how I felt, oddly enough it is true. Most relationships are built on opposites. Let’s face it my Sarah and I have a lot of things in common and superficially you would assume that we are very similar, we are. But I find that in most good long relationships there exists a sort of yin and yang balance. So it goes that this thing that you once liked because you could share the same thoughts and feelings on issues suddenly becomes this thing that as you explore more you realize that you have less and less in common with. And not just things like I like ketchup and you like mustard but deep philosophic differences and a complete difference in how you view this world we live in. but, it doesn’t matter, well some things would matter, but all in all as time goes on and you get past that honeymoon period where everything is sunshine and rainbows it becomes less about a red and blue line traveling in time together and becomes more of a, well lets just say green harmonious line that is neither red, blue, or a simple combination of the two but an entirely new creation.
Let’s face it; most good relationships have this constant struggle and constant compromise. There is usually and extrovert and an introvert. Sadly I always thought that I would be the introvert in my relationship because if you knew me would think that I am, but I actually found someone that make me be the extrovert and I’m ok with it but, although there are some off examples two introverts or two extroverts just doesn’t work in my mind. There are tons of examples of this idea from from the fact that girls usually think with their hearts and guys are usually more analytical and think with their head. The guy waits for the girl to get dressed when he will never understand how it can take 10 minutes to put on jeans and a t-shirt, and the girl waits until the end of football game not because she understands how it is important but because it is just what happens when two people accept that there will be differences, they wont understand them, and that these differences somehow bring them closer. Two different perspectives not understand the other is always better then one blind perspective
The world is infinite and all accessible
posted by Christopher W. Edwards @ 2:30 PM
1 Comments:
At 8:21 AM,
Anonymous said…
I don't think that phrase necessarily came from a girl. It could have come from a guy trying to explain to himself why a nice, quiet girl would be with a rough-looking, tattooed biker guy and not with him. He might have just given up and said "opposites attract." In that sense it is used to try to explain differences in APPEARANCE. However, it is quite possible the aforementioned couple just look different and look like they shouldn't be together based on stereotypes they are associated with, but in reality they are VERY similar when it comes to principles and values. I don't think a relationship can last long without THAT similarity. A lot of characteristics that people look for in others to share with themselves stem from having the same values; take working out for example. Health (mental or physical) is important to a person who works out, and this translates into "hey, that's cute! They both like running. They are so good together." Another example: Say two people love good Italian food. So they go out to eat and have a wonderful time. But after the meal the guy steals the fancy silverware, which the girl thinks is wrong. They have the same taste in food, but different values so that relationship probably wouldn't last long.
But, you may argue that there are some things that are not based on values that the two in the relationship can have the oppsite view on. If that is the case, then maybe it is the characteristic that one HAS and the other doesn't that attracts. I might see something in the other person that I don't have and I am drawn to that because it is so unusual/unknown to me so I think it is the greatest thing, and as long as I don't find it repulsive (in the moral sense-drinking out of a milk carton doesn't count here) I will want to learn more about it, increasing my attraction to the guy. And just to let you know, I've never had to use "opposites attract" as rationale for us being together. I hope this does not offend you.
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