Chris rant # 180

Today is January 1st 2005… no 2006. That’s right is you didn’t get it from the date this in officially the new year and well times like this any my birthday I get to look back on the year that I just had and think about the important things that I learned, ill get to that. I think it was a good year. Its really hard to think of an entire year and somehow put a plus or minus on it but I would have to say plus. Its an interesting feeling when you look back an entire year and you have to ask yourself the important questions about have I grown as a person, did I reach some epiphany about my life, have my eyes been opened or am I still living in the darkness of a beautiful dream, and how can I change so that I somehow can better myself in the greatness of life, the world and everything. Some big questions I know but I think I can handle it. Id like to think that I have grown, not changed but somewhere achieved some new thought on the world that has changed me so deeply that I cant actually put my finger on it. epiphany? No, those are just sudden realizations of the truth. I would like to think that I am living with my eyes open and I just happen to be seeing a beautiful dream. I have no idea how I can better myself, ill change when I have to. I guess more and more I just have been realizing the niceness of the world, it’s a beautiful place, there is bad that is easy to see but If you just look a little deeper you can find this ever clear beauty almost everywhere.

Have you ever sat alone in the dark looking around form something special, or hell a sign of something special, or well a sign of anything other then the dark. You ask yourself as you look around in the dark what is the point in look at blackness, what says that you cant just close your eyes for a moment and take a break from the dark. At least when your eyes are closed you can dream of the light. Although true, the light of dreams is just as real as the real light, it is still a dream. Most troubling while you were dreaming what says that the light didn’t come and you lost you one chance to see. I like my eyes open. It can suck you dry to see all the darkness but one thing is for sure when the light comes by I cherish every moment.

I think that is what I learned in 2005. Live, look, and when you see cherish it. There is a lot more out there that’s good,