chris' Incredibly awesome spectacular blog

Thursday, April 28, 2005

Chris rant # 120

Ok well, here’s the deal I was watching dawn of the dead and this came to mind. In case there is a massive zombie infection and I happen to get bit while most likely performing some massively selfless, heroic deed, no matter how mush you like me or how much my quite amazing skills will help you in the future to repopulate the world, it would be best, and I would prefer it if you would just kill me as soon as possible. Now when/if the time comes I may go back on my word and insist that you wait to kill me but at that point I know that I am going to become a zombie and although what I am saying may make some sense, it is just my new zombie logic coming out. You see at that point I will be pretty mad that no one else is doomed to become the walking dead so I will most likely wish the same fate for others, because of jealousy. Now just remember that paranoia in most cases adds chaos to any situation but when it comes to zombies it is best not to trust anyone until proven not a zombie, for this reason I will most likely need to do a through body search on everyone with 2 X chromosomes because they are the ones most likely to lie about this because of their lack of understanding of zombies. Also because of a possible time crunch we could just designate someone else to do the men exams, or I could just accept the men’s word, after all men done lie. Any way, I could probably go on for way too long about zombies because I think that it is important to be prepared for anything, and although it is not probable that the dead will awake and walk again it could well be possible. I think that I would not be doing my duty as an informed citizen if I didn’t share my knowledge. So following this will be my ranting tips on how to survive zombies…

Chris’ rant #119

I’m sure this will be funny to at least ½ of the people that read it. And to the other ½ it will help you to understand what we go through every time us men enter a bathroom.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

Chris’ rant # 118

Ok well my rant for today is mostly (100%) focused on the events of yesterday so to fully how I felt at the end of the day here is what I like to call "Chris’ worst day ever"
12:00am. Went over some path but most likely did nothing, and got ready for bed.
12:30Am. Went to bed
8:30am. Woke up but had a funny feeling that was located about 4 inches below my belly button. It felt like a pressure but from the inside and it was not going away. There was nothing that was reliefing the feeling and nothing was making it worse.
8:31am. I realized that this funny feeling was my body trying to clear out its system. So I rushed to the restroom and proceed to have some mass peristalsis of the lower GI system, which lasted for about 1 hour of on and off.
9:31am. Then when that was done and I still felt like crap from crapping. At this point I tried to study and when over some of path, but decided to take a nap to hopefully feel better.
10:45am. Began nap.
11:30am. Woke up from nay and felt a lot better, thank god. Then I
11:32am. Took a shower.
11:40am. Ate some leftovers and got ready to leave my apartment
11:50am. Left for school.
11:53am. Almost died when some ass hole pulled out in front for me, pulled into the lane next to me then when we got side be side tried to merge into my car, horns were honked, "fingers" were pointed
11:55am. Got to the med. school and began to franticly study GI and WBC pathology.
3:10pm. Began to take test. Of course we started late because some people can get to the test on time.
3:15pm realized I didn’t study enough for test and then proceeded to scrounge for every point that I could.
4:45pm. Left test feeling like I had got ass raped by a pineapple, and went to the med. School
4:50pm went over my WEPT packet and ate some cheerios.
5:50pm let med. school and headed off to the main campus. Traffic was crap and it turns out that no matter what time of day it is people cant drive
6:10pm. Arrived at main campus, and walked into the school, like usual noticed the much greater precent of hot girls at the main campus.
6:20pm went into test room and of course smelly man sat in front of me.
9:20pm finally finished test and left with my hand in a permanent claw.
9:35pm. got back to my apartment and watched 30 minutes of scrubs and ate some Ritz crackers and OJ
10:05pm. Laid down and began to die.
10:30pm Megan called and I talked to her for a while, at least my day ended well
12:00pm officially died for then next 11 hours then miraculously woke up

I know its not the worst day in the world but this was a lot quicker then making 4 separate rants to discuss each bad thing. well I think that is all for now. ttfn

Monday, April 18, 2005

Chris’ rant #117

Have you ever gone to a restaurant and when you thought that you were done ordering the person taking your order always seams to ask one more question. Some restaurants just have so many choices that it is impossible to remember all the options and give them in a coherent way as to not get any after questions. Well to those of you restaurant connoisseurs out there no place can do this better then KFC. There are just so many options and things to remember that I have never ordered without having forgot something, and no matter how small the people there are always on top of things to rub it in your face that you forgot. The worst is when you try to do your best and you make a very clear, orderly, and concise order and you for get something stupid like regular or spicy, then at about that time you hear a dark demented voice say "finish him" and you know its all over. You try so hard and it just seams like you end up short, to be honest it hurts and it almost makes you want to give up. But never fear, if you too have had this problem I have found the solution.

This will definitely help you order and then you two can master it and make the best order where ever you go and you will no longer be defeated in a restaurant and then you will be the one who hears "flawless victory"

Chris’ rant # 116

For those of you who were wondering where I get my awesome moves from please go here to learn, and maybe in the process, laugh as well. you will have to copy and paste the url

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Chris’ rant # 115

So I was telling someone about how I was going to study tonight, which by the way didn’t work out too well. But any way, when I was talking to this person I said that I just needed to go over all the white blood cell stuff before I go to bed and this person said to me "oh that’s going to take a lot longer then you think". I don’t know where it came from but just these words annoyed the hell out of me. One, how in the world does this person know hoe long this is going to take me, maybe I know the stuff well, maybe I was just going o read it, or maybe I am super fast. Two, how in the world does this person know how long I think it will all take because however long I think it will take it will be longer. Three, I love that this person is so confident in my ability to succeed that they cant say nice things like "you can do it" or "wow impressive" or "that is a lot, you must be awesome" or "good luck" or "hmmm" or "ok" or even "hold on let me check my I-don’t-give-a-shit-o-meter". Instead they just tell me that that is a lot more then you think it is, and if you really want to undertake this impossible task then you should have already started because it is going to take a lot longer then your simple mind can even comprehend. Four, … AHHHHHHHH!!! Why can’t people be positive. Lastly, in your face mystery person because I did go over it all and it actually took a shorter time then I thought.

Chris’ rant # 114

Well I was bored today and I found something funny that I would like to share with you all. to all of you that have played an RPG specifically final fantasy 7 this will be funny but if you have never then I am sorry for you

To the rest of you who hate studying I will show you the horrible truth about what happens when you study too hard. I warn you that the second video is a little graphic and remember it could be you if you don’t relax and take a break and watch these two awesome flash videos.

Chris’ rant # 113

Ok well it turns out that we don’t have class today so that is awesome, so I will make a rant and here I go. Ok well we did this relay for life thing and there were 2 APO teams that were competing to earn the most money. The names will not be mentioned to protect their identity. So team leader 1 was at first really excited about the competition and wanted to make more money, but as time progressed team 2 was slowly pulling ahead and for a while team leader 1 was still hopeful that team leader 1’s team would win but at some point the truth came out that team 2 was going to win and I got excited and of course went to do what I do best, rub the loss in team leader 1’s face. When I began to give team leader 1 crap for loosing team leader 1 said that it doesn’t matter who wins because the purpose was to raise money for cancer. Now I know that if team leader 1’s team won team leader 1 would have rubbed it in my face but sense team leader 1 didn’t win team leader 1 just acted like it didn’t matter. I hate it when people change their opinion about something or don’t keep their opinion about something they believe in. I think that if you believe in something that you should always be firm in your beliefs. If you end up wrong then admit you are wrong but firmly believe in what ever you believe. It’s the same thing when someone tell you something and they are making a good point and sound like they know what they are talking about, but then end their rant/thought by saying “but I could be wrong” or “but I don’t know”. People should just be decisive about what they think… that’s all, I think…