Chris’ rant # 166

This rant goes out to the "oh oh moment" for those of you who don’t know what this is well in every doomed relationship there comes an oh oh moment where a little something happens and you know you have witnessed the beginning of the end. Oh oh ice burg ahead. For those of you who have been in a doomed relationship you probably know what I’m talking about. Things seam fine but then something happens and for some reason you just cant get over it. It could be a big or something small and stupid that just brings to the surface the truth or the straw that breaks your back or something big that is an instant break up. The realization of this moment is key though in the process of moving on and continuing the search for the one not crazy, clingy bitch, or the one not crazy ass wipe bastard. Either way it is the fun of the search I guess, and the realization that you chose not wrong, because in every domed relationship you grow, but realize that this apple is not for you. And then one day the hmmm moment where you realize that you might have found that one odd ball person to everyone else but the person that somehow completes you.

Chris’ rant # 165

Ok so to anyone who reads this and was at the APO party last night knows that last night I got a little sloshed. I thought I would tell everyone for no real reason. I did have a lot of fun when I felt fine but I did hit a slight wall and in hindsight, usually 20/20, probably 11 was to big of a number for my first time getting drunk. Of well we learn from our mistakes. Oh the good side I had a great time being a ninja, and somehow I went in with 2 sais and left with both of my sais and a nunchuck and a chines star. Now I do know where these weapons came from, another ninja, but how I got them was a little unclear. I did uncover the mystery of the new weapons and am still considering giving them back… oh well

Chris’ rant # 164

Ok so today in English class my teacher had us do a free right about in 5 yeas if we will look back and say either I wish I would have studied more or I wish I would have partied more. Well I gave my answer which was true in the sense that I believe that we do what we think is best for us and study or party as long as you end up happy with where you are in 5 years it doesn’t matter because that is the road that got you there. But in more thought I decided that most people probably said that they wish that they have more fun and probably no one put "man I wish I’d studied more". But you know what that’s a load of crap, that’s right a load of stinky crap, because if you realize that you would like to party more and then do that but let your studding go down you would drop out of college. Then I bet that in 5 years when you are the manager of the local wall mart or whatever and your dream of being something is ruined, I bet those people don’t wish that they partied more. Well unless those people are just apathetic people who could care less either way. Any way, party/ study it doesn’t matter as long as you are happy with what you do.

Chris’ rant #163

Ok so for those of you who know me well enough to know me when it gets cold outside, and have known me at least within the last 10 years know that I have a special jacket. It is green, smells, has paint stains and stitches from when I stitch it up every couple of years. I lovingly call it my ugly green jacket. Now I must say I get a lot of crap for my jacket, mostly because people say that it looks like crap. It keeps me warm is what I come back with followed by the fact that I love it as much as I can love an inanimate object. The point of this rant is that I think we all have something that might not be alive but somehow they have some sort of memory to then, from a memory of a loved one to the memory of 10 years of life. My shoes I think of in a similar way but more for conformableness, any way I just like my green jacket.

Chris’ rant #162

So in acting class today we played a game, well actually we played three games but the first two didn’t have winners and losers so it was not that great of a game. Then we played our third and last game of the day. This new game intrigued me, it requires no real skill and has to do with the determination of the people playing. Simple games are always the best games and usually show the most about people because they require no real outside skill and are based of ones determination to win. The games rules were simple, look someone in the eyes and don’t smile. Now during this the rest of the class can do whatever they want to make you laugh but the cant touch you in any way. We started playing and the winner stayed and the looser left in shame with their head down and their spirit cracked. We had a strong competitor for a while and she lost to the guy who looses all the competitions we ever play, he got in position and won his first match, we cheered because he won something, but this wouldn’t last, we thought, if we knew then what we do now we wouldn’t have been cheering. He continued to win and seamed to be unbeatable, the guy sitting next to me decided he could concur this unbreakable beast, so he steeped up to the Plate and put up an impressive effort but despite his courageous attempt he came up short. Then it was my turn; I got up slowly and prepared to face the current champion. I sat there in quite contemplation before the main and last round began. How could I defeat such a menacing foe? What could I do to win? What would I do if I lost? Do I have what it takes? I knew the answers were within me, and I would have to draw up all the mental focus and awesomeness I had to continue… then it began, death stares, then two of us were in a unflinching competition of inner control and self discipline. It started off rough with comments from the audience and the quiet battle raged of between us men of the stare, it was like we could see through the others soul and each of us was putting up so much mental might that anything put between us would have simply vaporized into nothingness. We went on like this with no one making any progress until it happened, loss of focus, a twitch, a hint of weakness is all it took to run out of control, downward spiraling, unable to get a grip of the steadfast emotionless state that had been achieved and now was lost, then the lip shakes, one side begins to curl up followed immediately by the other, a smile is formed momentarily until the realization that that a smile symbolizes defeat and turns into a frown. Today I did not flinch, I was the winner, but more then that I was lucky, lucky enough to be the one that came out victorious. It took over 5 minutes to decide a winner but in the end I defeated my foe and came out the ultimate champion.

Chris’ rant # 161

Ok so I had a kick ass day. You know those days that everything just seems to fall into place well I had one and here is the basic run down
1 – got out of logic and was told that I have a free ticket to the chief’s game on 11/6 if I want to go. I said hell yes. And by the way it’s a chiefs raiders game. OMG I could not have been happier.
2 – in religion I got my test back that I thought I did bad on, my idea of bad is a 98 so I was not too upset
3 – got a 95.5 in my art class
4 most importantly got my life back. I had lost my red folder that has everything about this semester in it on Tuesday and today the nice guy in my English class returned it. he had taken it on Tuesday when he took it thinking it was his, he ended up with two red folders while o got none, but he returned it and im happy now.
5 – free delicious food at grandmas
6 – saved one of my friends from certain death
All in all it was good and I’m happy for it

Chris’ rant #160

Ok well I was told that my rants are too depressing so here is my shot at a non-depressing rant
I guess the thing is that I don’t think of myself as a depressing person although I realize that my rants come off that way sometimes, hell even when I try and be uplifting there is always a note of smite/ bitterness that crawls its way in. I guess its just who I am, we all get to a place in our life where we make patterns and as time goes on those patterns are hard to break, its takes a big push, usually from an outside source to derail your world and set it in a new path, if you don’t accept this you just fall back on the old path. I guess in the end you just hope that after you get on a better track you don’t find yourself merging with the track you left. It happens, you think that you are free of the past but you mealy just took a detour. I guess I’m just stuck now, soon ill be unstuck, the stuck, then unstuck then stuck again, the thing is just this. One day we all get unstuck and land on some random track that came from nowhere, even if its been in front of us the whole time, once this happens we stick to this new track and realize that without all those bad moments in our life, that brought us down some of those crap ass tracks that we try not to remember, we might not have gotten something good or worse not appreciated the good when it comes. In the end we all land on one that makes us happy. This one track is different for everyone but it is there and as long as we are not too rigid and accept this destiny when it comes, we all land face up in a path that is for us only. Or at least that’s what keeps me going

Chris’ rant # 159

So I went to a play and saw Man and Superman, it is a marvelous play that basically is about women. Here is a run down of the play. Man finds out woman likes him, he run away from fear, woman finds man and then somehow convinces him to marry her. The play is basically about how women are manipulative, and how in the end we (men) are basically hopeless in the epic struggle for power. It dabbles in the fact that not only do nice guys finish last, we want most what we don’t have, woman are two faced, woman go for the guy that doesn’t treat them the best, but sometimes a person doesn’t have to be perfect to be exactly what you need. Ya I know it’s not a cynical as my usual rant but its what I got so take it. I know its weird for me to say but people aren’t perfect just perfect for each other, and if you don’t like a relationship then tough shit because if it works for the people in it then its not your problem. I know I shouldn’t judge relationships because hell I am a self destructive relationship destroyer that feeds off my own misery. After all the easiest way to loose something is to want it too badly.

Chris Rant # 158

I notice that because I always act happy and make jokes that when I sometimes say something serious, but still joking, I come off as a complete ass. I hear me sounding like an ass, but I think that because I joke all the time that people will take it as a joke, but because it is such a change in tone from my usual smile and ha ha ha they assume that I am an ass wipe. Now sometimes I do mean to sound like an ass (See rant # 157). Now this happen more often then I then I expect, and it always catches me off guard and I don’t want to defend it because then I would sound defensive so I just let people think I was an ass and hope that they move off the subject, I make a real joke and although the issue hasn’t been touched its gone, for now

Chris’ Rant # 157

I usually don’t like to sound like an ass (see rant # 158) but there are a couple of times when I know I sound like an ass and mean it.

1: when people correct me and I know I was wrong, but both I and the other person knew what I was saying but they corrected me either way.

2: when people correct me and they are wrong, and I know it.

The first makes my ass hole O-mater run about a 4.0, the second runs about a 9.0-9.5. I know that I say things not good some times, but when I say facts I, usually, like to think that I am right, and if you correct me you better be right 100%, not one of those we both are right things like if I say AST, and ALT and you say, NO you mean a LFT. Because if you correct someone that means you are telling them that they are wrong, if you both are right then you are wrong because you said the other person was wrong to begin with. Any way I am one of those people that like to be right and I don’t give it up very easily if I know I’m right. Well I don’t give up, and if you correct me then I am sorry if I retaliate by making the other person admit that they are wrong because it makes me happy to hear someone say "you are right and I am wrong." Now it is hard for me to say this but I, like my mother just don’t make many strong stands and when I do I know I’m right. So the point is: I’m sorry if I sound like I’m mad, I am. I’m sorry if I sound like an ass but that’s what I’m going for. And if I actually upset you then I actually am sorry and please forgive me for my inner ass, I mean nothing by it and I am only a true ass to the people I love the most because I know that they will continue to love me back

Chris’ rant # 156

Ok so I spent 2 hours in barns and noble today and I got some good rant ideas but they wee thrown out when I got back to me apartment and in the parking lot standing by the car that I parked by were 2 people in their late 30s to early 40s that were making out, now when I say making out I mean he was trying to eat her face making out. Now I don’t have a problem with this usually and its not that they were old although that was icky, it is the fact that they were so horny that they couldn’t even wait until I walked away they were doing it right in front of me. Look I don’t care what people do in their homes but if I park next to you you can wait 20 seconds until I walk away to start, its just rude and grouse I don’t care if they were 20 I don’t want to see it, well unless they were 2, 20 year old hot girls that ask if I want to join, but I would be lucky enough to get one 20 year old so that’s not happening.

Chris rant # 155

Ok well it good to say that for the first time in my life I got cock blocked. What is that you ask? Well its when you are talking to a girl and someone comes up to you and talks to you while at the same time some other guy then tries to take the girl you were talking to away. Well it happened to me and let me tell you it sucks ass. who would do such a thing? well I will tell you. I was at a wedding and I was talking to this girl that my parents were trying to hook me up with and finally I actually got to talk to her without other people around, well her friend was there but I was ok with that because I was not the third wheel. Then it happened out of no where they came, swooping down like buzzards they dove in and with impressive precision one started talking to me and before I could stop it the other had cut me off from the one girl that I was interested in. I was out matched, out classed and out whited in every way and the only thing that could make it worse was that it was my slightly tipsy dad and step mom, yep you read that right it was the same people trying to hook me up with her. It was horrific, and it happened more then one time, and it was my parents. Ahhhhhhhhh!!! it would take a lot of strong words that I am not wanting to right to describe my true feelings but I guess I have to get over it and if they give me crap for not getting this girls number then I can blame it on them even with I know the real truth (see rant 154)

Chris rant # 154

So this weekend I went to a wedding and just like last time I met a girl, well actually three girls but I only had my eyes on one. It started off well and I know that this might shock most but I actually started most of my conversations because I was the only guy there dancing. Yep dancing got three girls to talk to me. Thank god for the electric slide, YMCA, the chicken dance, footloose and my personal favorite the twist. Now for those of you who have witnessed my random-flailing-of-my-arms-legs-going-who-knows-which-way style of dancing then you know that these girls weren’t talking to me because of my smooth moves on the dance floor. The key is confidence, just have fun and don’t worry and they will come, it’s a lot easier then building it to make them come (movie reference). So then, well, I don’t know what happened. No I know what happened I left, I just left I wanted to get this girls number but I didn’t think that I got a good enough vibe from her whether it was that we didn’t talk enough (see rant 155), she was just shy, or its my excuse for not taking the leap… I said my "it was nice meeting you", and then that was that. Something is wrong with me. I almost think that I am so stuck being single that I cant get myself out, its not a new feeling its just back and I guess I will just have to get used to it again. Well sorry this rant was depressing, I just read it myself.